I am a 30 something year old mom of five precious boys and two sweet girls. Five of our children are here with us and two are in the arms of Jesus. Our sweet baby girl Hope was diagnosed with Dystrophic Epdermolysis Bullosa and our youngest son came to us through adoption, our youngest daughter through foster care, and I've recently been diagnosed with malignant melanoma the Lord has shown us just how Faithful He is. We will continue to Journey and follow Him where ever He leads. We feel very blessed that God chose us to be the parents of each of our kids, and we look forward to what He has in store for us in foster care!
So, today was my first appointment with my new dermatologist. I need to be followed every three months by my oncologist and a dermatologist to check for new melanomas. I arrive at the office and fill out the necessary paperwork. The receptionist was friendly and asked me to have a seat. It is always surreal sitting in a dermatology office to be seen for melanoma. Many of the folks there are for much different reasons. I sat down and began to look around...Botox ads everywhere, the song "Poker Face" comes on. The irony wasn't lost on me and I began to chuckle. I continue to peruse the room to see "Latisse" billboards, chemical peel ads and various other "cosmetic" surgery type literature. Nothing on cancer. When you have melanoma you are basically the kill joy of the dermatology office.
I am taken back to the exam room where I am given what resembled those paper bag vests you make at Thanksgiving in school when you are the Native American in the school play and a giant paper towel type thing to drape on my legs. I stand there staring at them for a moment and then laugh and just put them on. The doctor came in and I immediately knew I liked him. He had kind eyes and was a ball of energy. He explained what he was going to do and took down what information I had for him. He then proceeded to check every single inch of my skin, while his nurse mapped each and every mole coded with letters and numbers. It was so very weird to be sitting on a cold table in a paper vest while the doctor pointed at my moles all the while saying what seemed like random letters and numbers in a language only dermatologists must know.
When he was done he told me I was boring and that we were going to keep it that way. He checked each of my lymph node basins and said he had no concerns, and that my surgeon did a "beautiful job" on my arm. He assured me we were about to become BFFs as I would be visiting him every three months and we were gong to stay ahead of anything that may happen. He explained my pathology reports to me in a manner that I actually understood and asked if any of my children had moles. We agreed Luke should be seen soon and followed yearly. He seemed to really know his stuff. He'd say I bet you've had this mole since you were tiny, I bet you've had this mole since your teen years....and he was spot on EVERY time. He even took a look at my hand eczema for me.
I've always dreaded going to the OBGYN because it was so humiliating...this made that seem not so bad, although the doc did make sure to tell me it could be worse. He said if I were at the melanoma clinic at Harvard that I'd be on a turn table in a g-string. So you know...there's always that. Grateful for EVERY normal doctor appointment in a way I never knew possible. While it wasn't fun necessarily, I urge you to find yourself a GOOD dermatologist and visit them yearly. It could just save your life. Melanoma kills a person every hour. Don't let that be you. God willing....it isn't going to be me.
Go ahead and mention my child, The one that died, you know. Don't worry about hurting me further. The depth of my pain doesn't show. Don't worry about making me cry. I'm already crying inside. Help me to heal by releasing The tears that I try to hide. I'm hurt when you just keep silent, Pretending she didn't exist. I'd rather you mention my child, Knowing that she has been missed. You asked me how I was doing. I say "pretty good" or "fine". But healing is something ongoing I feel it will take a lifetime. ~ Elizabeth Dent ~
"When I Lay My Isaac Down" - Carol Kent "The One Year Book of Hope" - Nancy Guthrie "Holding on to Hope" - Nancy Guthrie "Empty Cradle Broken Heart" - Deborah Davis "Waiting With Gabriel" - Amy Kuebelbeck "Streams in the Desert" - LB Cowman "It Takes a Parent" - Betsy Hart "I'll Hold You in Heaven" - Jack Hayford "Crazy Love" Francis Chan "Radical" David Platt